Don't Judge Me

Right now I am reading this book called Fearless Dating. I am a little embarrassed to admit to that, but it has been really helpful for me so it's worth reading. It has helped me to see beyond the expectation of just getting asked out. I have noticed in my dating experience that I feel this need to be asked out constantly or my dating life is terrible. You see the girls who go on dates multiple times a week and you feel like there must be something wrong with you because you don't. This book however, takes a totally different approach. I just finished chapter two, so I'm not that far in yet, but the whole first chapter is on prayer and the second chapter is on confidence and trying to be your best self. At the end of each chapter there is a weekly goal and some space to write down your goal. The first chapter's goal was to pray for direction in your dating efforts and to write down the impressions that you get. The second weekly goal was to write down your strengths and then pick 4 characteristics that you would like to develop and how (that is as far as I've gotten).

It has been so uplifting for me. Instead of telling me what I should do to go on dates, it teaches me how to make myself happy and feel good. It all starts from within. That is what Captain Moroni teaches in the Book of Mormon. He says "remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also." (Alma 60:23) This pertains so much to a relationship. I need to take care of myself and make sure that I am confident, happy, and strong before I can expect to have a secure, happy, and strong relationship. I remember learning on a hike at young women's camp (of course) that your group is only as strong as it's weakest link.

In relationships the same principle applies. If you've got solid metal on one link, and a few strands of wire tied together on the next, no matter how badly you want it to, that chain will never be able to fulfill it's purpose. It will not be strong enough.

Working on yourself and becoming your best self is where your foundation starts. Then, after you've got yourself well built and stable, you can add on to that foundation another firm and stable person to create something powerful and secure. We have been given a wonderful promise from God to help us acheive this. ". . . my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27, also from the Book of Mormon)

So, if you feel like a weak link, as I think we all do at one point or another, that does not mean you are stuck that way forever. That is what is so great about being children of the ALMIGHTY God and beneficiaries of the atonement of Jesus Christ. They have a power beyond our own that will make up for our weaknesses if we ask for help and humbly seek it. They can make us strong.

It's all a process that begins with the small things. Taking one step at a time. I think that is how every goal works. If you acheive your goal the first time your try, I don't think it was much of a goal to begin with. The good things in life are the things worth working for. And when you set and pursue goals with an "eye of faith" you will know that Heavenly Father is on your side and that you CAN reach them.