Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Divinely Guided

It's so interesting the way things work out. Last summer I had a contract to move out for the fall and winter semesters. Two of my friends were going to be my roommates and it was going to be so great. A few weeks before the move-in date, I started to wonder if I should move out or not. I was starting to really like my ward and was sad at the thought of leaving it. One night after FHE I was chatting with some friends and they were trying to convince me to stay. Promising me that we would have so much fun and hang out all the time if I stayed. Also, money was a concern seeing as how I had just gotten home from a mission, I had no job, and I wasn't getting any financial aid of any sort. My friend who was convincing me to stay was the RS president at the time and told me that she wanted to call me to be in the presidency and would do so if I stayed. So, with all of that in mind accompanied by a strong feeling that I needed to stay in the ward, I stayed. I sold my contract and used the money I got back from the deposit and first and last months rent to pay for part of my tuition, which was a big blessing because I don't know how I would have paid for it otherwise.

8 months later, school is over, and I have caught bug to move out again. Yesterday I was very determined to find somewhere to live even if it was just for the summer. I want to be independent and I want to meet new people. However, at FHE last night I was extended a calling that I have been wanting for sometime now. I even went so far as to request it from one of the counselors of the bishopric. This particular counselor sat me down and told me that he didn't even have to suggest my name for the calling because it was already on the list. I was so excited! Now, I have made the decision to stay in the ward. I feel like God is giving me callings to keep me in this ward because deep down inside I feel like the right thing for me to do is stay put.

I don't know why. Last summer I didn't know why. It's crazy that you can feel guidance and direction in your life but for the longest time you don't understand why you have to do something. I did date someone this semester that actually was a great learning experience for me and helped me to adjust into the dating scene after the mission. It was a good thing. But it's over now, so why do I have to stay? That is the question. WHY?

It's like when Adam was instructed to build an altar and offer a sacrifice unto the Lord. He was asked why he did it, and his response was "I know not, save the Lord commanded me." (Moses 5:6) I feel the same way. I don't know why I need to stay where I am, but I know that it's the right place to be right now.

3 comments:

Erin said...

I think you are one of the best people I know at paying attention so you CAN be guided. Just so you know.

Sara said...

I really liked that you shared this experience. Come over for some funnel cakes soon (i am getting fat and need to share them with someone skinny)

rachel v. said...

perfectly put, I am interested if someday you do find out "why" :)

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