We're all pretty much the worst

We live in a culture of extraordinary. Let me show you what I mean using the following quotes from some well-known and not-so-well-known voices of our day:

“I’m intimidated by the fear of being average”

          Taylor Swift

“I'd rather be weird than ordinary. Ordinary is so boring.”

Noah Willoughby

“Common people are often enough; that is why God made so many of them. Your job is to be--- EXTRAORDINARY.”

Shannon L. Alder

“I don’t work at being ordinary.”

    Paul McCartney

Looks like being ordinary = bad. Which is really a shame considering that by the world’s standard most of us will grow up to be ordinary people

When I initially began thinking about this idea, I didn’t want to go to the worn out Mormon (p.s. I’m a Mormon) conclusion I've heard my whole life that we’re all children of god and as such we are of a divine heritage and have a literal spirit father in the all-powerful, all-knowing, unconditionally-loving God. Although, I do believe that. However, since that applies to every person on earth, I wanted to set it aside in this case to explore the idea of extraordinary people. I wanted to find ways in which extraordinary means different and apart from others. We are all from the same spiritual origin, so that wasn’t what I was looking for. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the extraordinary as, “going beyond usual, regular, or customary.” If everyone is extraordinary, then no one is by mere definition.

I also didn’t want to come to any certain conclusion to my answer. I don’t think there is a one-right-answer-which-trumps-all-other-answers to most questions in life. I fear that for too great a portion of my life I have regarded a moment of inspiration about a topic as the full extent of what I needed to know about it. Or even worse, that there isn’t any more to learn because “I totally get it now.” I consider this now and see so many opportunities gone by to dig deeper and unearth new knowledge. There is a lot to be learned in the gray areas of life.

Having said that, I did think of a category of behavior which sets apart an extraordinary person from an ordinary person. A couple weeks ago I spent an evening with my sister and her daughter who is almost two years old. She is a single mom. That is the best description I could give her situation. You get it. It’s not a walk in the park. The whole night I caught myself sticking my foot in my ignorant mouth time after time. Here I am a young, single, childless working professional with seemingly no perspective or tact saying stuff like, “it seems like she is always congested and hoarse-voiced, is that just how she sounds?” only to get a response about not being able to do much for it because of x,y, and/or z. Cool move, Shelly. That’s pretty cool. Might as well become best friends with this girl:

About an hour ago as I was driving home I turned off the podcast I was planning to finish from the ride up and left my thoughts to do their thing. Ordinary vs. Extraordinary popped up and started to swirl around and collect little pieces of memory from the evening. And you’ll never guess what happened next! Click here to find out!

Anyway, knowing that her struggles are real, it makes a great impression on me the attitude that she has through it all. In spite of the difficulty and worry that is ever-present in her life she is so loving to her daughter and I’ve maybe seen her lose patience with her once or twice, if that.  She doesn’t complain or blame others and is teaching me a lot about motherhood. She is an example of a truly extraordinary person. Someone who rises to the challenge in a tough situation and does so with grace, kindness, caring, and love. I just came across this article and this is what I’m talking about.  It seems you can’t be extraordinary without a hole to climb out of or a mountain to summit. You can’t feel the triumph of getting to the top without first making the climb. Looks like the pre-twerking Miley Cyrus knew what was up.

Maybe we are all just ordinary people with extraordinary moments. Maybe everyone is extraordinary in their own way and even on a regular basis, but we don’t stick around long enough to find out how or why. Maybe extraordinary is in the eye of the beholder. It could be none, all, or some of these considerations. Perhaps the extraordinary is sprinkled in with the ordinary and like Ferris Bueller said, “If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

p.s. it's my birthday. go me.

I'm 50!

Knowing things before they happen. We wish we knew what was ahead so we could plan for it now. I live in the hub of young single people in Provo and I've heard many times the phrase, "if I just knew when I was going to get married, I would feel better and I could just have fun until then." I don't think this is a surprising notion to my fellow singles. Outside the sphere of singledom, the same struggle exists, but in a different skin. The unemployed looking for work or couples dealing with infertility, for example. We all yearn for certainty in the future so we can feel good about the present.

I was plopped on my roommates bed just an hour ago regaling the evening's events and not sure how we got onto this subject, but we started talking about meeting our past, present, and future selves. Oh, I remember how. I was thinking about how fascinating/embarrassing it would be to watch myself from within another human. We talked about what we would say to our 4, 12, 50, 60 year-old selves. Would we be friends with our current selves? Would we have the same thoughts because we are the same person, or would it depend on the mood we're in? If we came from totally different backgrounds, would we understand each other? Would we recognize each other? So crazy, right? Whatever room you are in, look at the door and imaging yourself walking in. How would you feel? What would you say? Would you welcome it or reject it?

I had emotional reactions to the ages 4 and 50, so I'm going to talk about those two a little bit.

What would I say to my 4 year-old self?
I would tell myself that I am of great worth. I would hug me and and kiss my cheek and tell me how loved I am. Right now as I close my eyes and imagine it, I feel so much love for this cute, chubby-cheeked, bubbly (that's how my mom describes me) little girl. How is it that I struggle to feel that now? Why does my age change the way I feel about myself? It is my strongest desire that she know her potential. I don't want her to hold back because of fear and I don't want her to be intimidated by hard things. She is so capable and I want her to believe it.

Me in kindergarten

What would I say (or rather, ask) my 50 year-old self?
This is where things come full circle. My initial instinct is to ask her to tell me everything happens from now til then. Do I get married and have kids? Am I happy? Do I have a career and if so what am I doing? What have I learned? What have I become? Is it gonna be hard? All these things.

As appealing as it sounds to know the end (not that age 50 is the end, but for the case of my argument we'll go with it) from the beginning, Imma have to pass on that one. Uncertainty. Discomfort. We need them. Terryl and Fiona Givens discuss the concept in their book, The Crucible of Doubt, like this:

"The grand project in which we are engaged is one that moves us away from stasis, ease, comfort, and equilibrium, and toward an end that is yet to be determined--precisely because our choices are yet to be made. . . it is the tension itself, the irresolution, the ambiguity and perplexity of our lives, the very feelings of alienation, estrangement, and dislocation, that are our rescue from the complacency and stasis of an eternal Eden. Like the sand in the oyster shell, the torment of uncertainty is at the same time the spur to our spiritual vitality and growth."

A-freakin-men. I love that. If someone had told me at age 20 that I'd be single at age (almost) 29, my little heart might have shriveled up and died.  I would have seen that as such a horrible circumstance for myself. I didn't get it. However, being 29 (nearly) and single is not terrible. It's actually great. Unexpected, but great. I like who I have become and the role of marriage in my life's play hasn't made an appearance in a single scene.

I'd say the overarching theme of my young adult years so far has been the quest to understand myself and the discoveries have been absolute gems. Sometimes it's real hard and lots of times I'm real confused, but I understand myself so much more now than I did nine years ago. I could never have known at age 20 what a delight it is to have gotten to this point. Y sin esposo.

Uh, on second thought, maybe I do want to meet me at age 50.
I'll be looking pretty fly.

Life, you guys. LIFE! Sometimes you want to kick it in the face because it's so frustrating, but other times you want to kiss it all over because it's just so awesome! To experience is a beautiful thing.

(A little help with the title of this post if you didn't catch the reference)

Did I mention that I met Molly Shannon?

I've been told I have a nice radio voice . . . more than once

It has been almost three years since my last post and the same amount of time since I've been to the dentist.  Judge me! Weird way to commemorate getting your teeth drilled, but I guess that's how I roll. Maybe all that time laying in a chair forced to stare at the dead fly trapped in the light fixture above me is my version of a muse.

I do still hate, but appreciate going to the dentist. Just want to give a short shout out Dr. Gardner. It has been the best experience I could have hoped for given the circumstances.

But really, I did stare at that fly for a long time today. As I laid there, muscles tight, feeling tense, listening to the shrill sound of the drill, I found my mind buzzing with questions like, I wonder if they have to get special gloves for people with sensitive skin; when they say "lingual" are they referring to the "tongue side" of my teeth; what the heck is a flobal?  I did end up asking about the gloves. They do have special ones for people with allergies to latex. Also, wikipedia tells me that lingual is "the side of a tooth adjacent to (or the direction towards) the tongue." Boom. Nailed it. I'm still working out what flobal is. I have not idea how to spell it and could have heard it incorrectly, so if anyone out there wants to enlighten me, by all means do.


Looks like I started this post on a tangent. It's fine.

I've been listening to podcasts lately. Specifically Serial, This American Life, and Stuff You Missed in History Class. In addition to providing intellectual stimulus, I am hoping that by listening  my vocabulary will acquire new words and familiarize itself with correct usages of known but seldom used words. Like the word ,"seldom". I heard it today on a podcast and decided I'd use it if I had the chance. Turns out my plan is working because I just found out that "seldomely" isn't a word. My grammar suffers as well. I acknowledged it. We can move on.

I am not a researcher, I'm not a writer, and I don't perform well on demand. The extent of my internet broadcasting experience is giving an intro for a webinar series for my previous employer which I read word for word from a peice of paper very monotonously. However, today I decided that I'm going to start a podcast. The first thing the few people I mentioned this to asked was, "what are you going to talk about?" My answer was, "whatever I want!" I figure I'll try it out and go from there. Do I have to have a concrete plan? I'm not convinced that I do. Do I know how to record and upload a podcast? No. Will people want to listen to it? I can think of five people who would and that's just because I made them swear to it, even if it sucks. A new, but wise friend told me today that the best way to learn is through experience. So, take that world, I'm gonna start a podcast!

Oh, and the title of this post is not made up. It has happened. Multiple times!

Hate, but Appreciate

Whilst at the dentist a few weeks ago, I was reclining in the chair with my mouth hanging open as the dentist drilled my tooth away and thought to myself, "this is the worst." I have what the dentist called, "soft teeth" which in normal language means I get cavities really easily. The added fact that I grew up in Utah where the percentage of fluoride is very low compared to other states doesn't aid in the health of my teeth. I had a lot of time to think on that chair because I was getting a bunch of work done at once. I turned 26 in the February and am no longer covered under my mom's insurance. Thus, my haste in fixing all my dental problems at once.

ANYWAY

I thought to myself, as much as I dislike the dentist, I am really glad that my teeth are getting fixed. And the Hate, but Appreciate list was born. The following are some of my top hate but appreciates:

Dentist
Drills, that "slight pinch" that actually really hurts, puffy face, controlled breathing through your nose so you don't choke on all that junk (molds, x-ray thingies) they put in your mouth. But, in the end we have happy mouths and happy smiles.

Period
I won't go into details here, but girls, you get me. It's bothersome, but it's also preparing our bodies to grow babies, sooooo, it's ok.

A job you dislike
I've been working at a job I wouldn't mind leaving. I definitely didn't graduate from college so I could work at this job. BUT, it provides me with the dolla bills I  need to lives, so I am thankful.

I am interested to know what you would put on your hate, but appreciate list.

Lakes vs. Oceans

Lakes are better than oceans and here is why:

Fresh water

Much, much, much less sand

Boating

Wakeboarding

Moutains

Remote-ness

Lake monsters

Scenery

I love lakes.

Welcome to my blog

I don't update this thing. I wish I did cause I think about a lot of things. Hence the title "this is what I think."

If you are reading this now because you clicked on the link from Erin's blog, you win. Thank you Erin for the free advertisement.

Let's talk about the unexpected life. I am reading this book right now:

It is the best thing a single woman can read. The white lettering you see just under the lawn chair says, "The unexpected life is no less a life." For reals Kristen. Fo reals. In this book she writes about her experiences living as a single and successful woman until just before the age of 53 when she married Apostle Dallin H. Oaks of the LDS church.


I never planned to be living in the situation that I am right now. If someone had told me when I was 18 that I would be almost 26, graduated from college, single, and working in retail barely over minimum wage, I probably would have been devastated. But guess what? It's not devastating. It's just different than what I was expecting. My job is only temporary while I find a full-time position. My singleness is only temporary. My almost 26-ness is also only temporary.

In an article found in RELEVANT Magazine, Shauna Niequist writes about things everyone should know at 25(ish). Since I am currently undergoing an intensive job hunt the section where she talks about finding an occupation soothed my anxiety. She wrote, "Now is the time to figure out what kind of work you love to do. What are you good at? What makes you feel alive? What do you dream about? You can go back to school now, switch directions entirely. You can work for almost nothing, or live in another country or volunteer long hours for something that moves you. There will be a time when finances and schedules make this a little trickier, so do it now. Try it, apply for it, get up and do it." Booya. It has been so frustrating not knowing for sure what job I want and it's nice to know that I don't need to know right this second. She mentions later in the dating portion of her article that time is on our side. It really is! At 25 no one should feel like they need to rush into anything. The beauty of being 25 is that you have so many years ahead of you. There is no hurry to find that one occupation that you will be doing for the rest of your life. Try a few. Figure out what you really like and/or don't like. In the previously mentioned book by Kristen Oaks, she writes, "Nothing is more perplexing than not knowing what to do with your future, and nothing is more personally rewarding than discovering your own abilities. Read your patriarchal blessing, consider your natural aptitudes and talents and go forward. Take the first step, and doors will open."

So, as I mentioned earlier. I am most definitely living an unexpected life. As I think most people live as well. There are those who live the exact, or close to it, life they anticipate(d). I used to wish I was one of those, but I don't anymore. As I was reading Sister Oaks' book last night I realized that I can choose to sit around waiting for my personal expectations to be met (including a lot of expectations over which I have little to no control over). Or, I can do a little rearranging and adapt to what life has given me and turn the unexpected into something amazing and wonderful. I choose the latter my friends.

Yo Yo Yo!

People. Teach me about applique. I went to some yard sales on Saturday and I got some amazing deals. One of which is a white, queen-sized duvet cover that I purchased for $2. Yes. It was such a steal! It has like two small stains on it so I decided to make a project out of it and do an applique design on it. Cute right? But I need help because I consider myself to be craftally-challenged. What are some ideas that you have? Do you know some good blogs or websites that can point me in the right direction? Teach me.

Pho Sho!

There is a new Pho place in town. When you look it up online it is called the Pho King. Don't say it out loud. I know you just did. Sinner.

It's actually called something like Rice Noodle King Pho Take-Out or something normal like that. Anway, it's delicious. I saw it as I drove down Center Street yesterday and did I go there for dinner? Yes. I. Did.

I ordered the Pho #4 which is regular pho with beef strips. Every time I have gotten pho they serve it with the noodles, broth, and meat in a bowl and all the other ingredients are added by the consumer. This place was different though because they served EVERYTHING separate. Broth, meat, noodles, jalapeños, bean sprouts, lime, sauces, basil leaves, and onions. The thing about pho is that the meat is not cooked until you put it in the steaming broth. So yes, the meat came raw! For any of you who know me, you know that I hate raw meat. Touching it, looking at it, smelling it. EW! However, this meat was thinly sliced and bright pink and it looked really appetizing actually. That is good sign #1. I put the meat in first a little skeptical about it actually getting cooked. I dropped them in there and a few minutes later I poked one with a fork and it was brown and cooked and tasted awesome!

The pho itself was very good. The restaurant was really clean and the servers were nice. When I walked it this is how I was greeted:

little vietnamese lady (LVL), "you want take-out?" - insert thick accent
me, "um . . ."
LVL, "you want take-out? To go?"
me, "uh, yeah . . ."
LVL, "ok sit here and I will bring you a menu and you tell me when you are ready."

So, I guess I wanted take-out. I had actually planned to eat it there because it is more fun to eat it at the place you know? I think they were going to close soon so, whatevs.

If anyone wants to join me for a bowl of spicy and delectable pho noodle soup I am game.

225 W Center St.
Provo

Schmetterling

I have a new goal. I actually really like playing the piano. And let me tell you my friends that it is high time for a new repertoire because I am getting pretty sick of playing the SAME stuff I have been playing for 7 years. For real. So, my new goal is to learn a beautiful song. This is the one I have chosen. It is called Schmetterling which means Butterfly in German. I looked it up on youtube and found out that many a composer has written their own piece called Schmetterling, but the one I chose is by Gustav Merkel. Have a little listen to this song. The one played here is the only one I could find on youtube that didn't have mistakes, but this one is a little too fast for my taste.. Most people I've heard play it slow because there are so many accidentals that it's hard to play fast, but I want to play it "allegretto" as it says on the music. So, without further ado, here it is:

ZUMBA!!

It's only the best thing around these days. That's all.

I went this morning for I think my 3rd time ever and I still love it.The first time I ever went I probably laughed during the whole class. A) because I felt silly trying to shake my booty B) because I loved it so much!

Just the other day I was asking my sister how to stretch out my hips and back. She gave me some ideas but I didn't get the stretching relief that I wanted. After coming home from Zumba today I realized that my hips and back were feeling so good. This exercise style is just what my body has been craving.

I have a membership at 24 so if any of yous out there in the Provo area want to hop on the Zumba wagon with me just let me know!

That's me on the left. Seriously, my abs look like that.

I'm liking these

I like the rhythm of the verses.



This one is good too. I like the real version but I couldn't find the edited version of it, so we'll go with this one. Who knew Gwyneth Paltrow was a singing machine?

Nachoooooooo!

I laugh so much every time.




Also I really like the following song. Violins are de beeest.

Something finally came, as it always does

Last night I was reading in Alma 40 in the Book of Mormon and I came across some good stuff. I had only planned a little bit of time to read because I had to finish a big homework assignment due in the morning. That chapter talks about where we go after we die and what happens to us. I have know all this stuff since I was young but I learned a lot while I was reading and in my subsequent study of it not a few moments ago.

As I was reading I noticed two definitions of the concept of resurrection. The first is in verse 2 when it talks about mortality putting on immortality and corruption putting on incorruption. The second is the definition as given in the bible dictionary found in verse 18 as the reuniting of the soul with the body.

I wanted to look up the official definition from the church in the bible dictionary last night as I was reading, but because of my time constraint I didn't. However, I just barely looked it up and found something interesting. It's new to me, but may not be to you gospely inclined people. In the bible dictionary it defines resurrection as "the uniting of a spirit body with a body of flesh and bones, never again to be divided." That's what we would expect to read. However, it also states that there have been instances where people have been brought back from the dead but they were only brought back into mortality. The resurrection means we are brought into the physical state of immortality or are beings without blood. THAT my friends is where my brain perked up and started to tick. Blood is the life line of a mortal being. I once asked my mission president if blood was sacred because the spilling of innocent blood is basically what the atonement is. Before it was making a blood sacrifice of the firstling of the flock and was the same with Jesus Christ he being the first born and completely innocent. I didn't get much of an answer from my president, but this idea of blood being a characteristic of mortality is quite fascinating. In giving up his blood (from every pore) Christ overcame physical death and in a very real sense gave us his mortality. So would you say that blood has an aspect of sacredness? I'm still interested to know.

I started to chat with my co-worker about it and she raised some questions about our bodies after the resurrection. Will we have organs? Will we eat? What about our hearts whose main function is to pump our blood throughout our bodies? Then a librarian (I work at a library) came in and we asked him what he thought about it all. Will there be another life source? An immortal life source that replaces our blood? As a joke I decided that the immortal life source is gold and glowing. He also noted that Joseph Smith describes the physical state of God and Jesus Christ as flesh and BONES. Usually we say flesh and BLOOD. Interesting is it not?

What do you think about it? Has this topic ever come up and if so, what did you learn?

My blog is too blogalicious . . .

I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't felt anything awesome inspire me to write on the blog, therefore no blogging.

Anyway, yesterday I got an idea for an cool project to work on. And my goal is to have it done by Christmas so I can give it out as a Christmas present. Welp.

Having a real job is . . .

very different than working on campus.

Here at the good old Harold B. Lee Library I don't do much. I work on projects that the librarians give me (which means I do data entry for hours), I re-shelve me some books, and answer questions about any random subject. I go home and I don't think about my job again until the next day when I sit myself down on my swirly gray office chair to repeat the same thing.

I am thankful to BYU for this job. I know they created it just so that I, a poor starving student, could earn a "living." I put it in quotations because there is no way anyone could make a living off of what I make. But, I get by so, whatevs.

For just over a week now I have been working at a new job (plus my library job). I was hired to be the Counselor Supervisor for the counselors of a group of Chinese students coming to America for 3 weeks. So, this job will end on August 10th. It is exactly what I was thinking about doing after I graduate so it's great experience for me. However, with a real job comes real responsibility. I go to work and I am actually working the whole time I am there. I go home and I think about my work. It's crazy. Part of me loves having a purpose when I go to work, but the idle part of me doesn't like having so much responsibility. The more I put into it the more excited I am for the Chinese students to get here. However, I feel a little nervous too because a lot of the success of the program is resting on top of my shoulders. That is a big deal! Here at the library, I have close to zero responsibility.

I guess that means I am growing up eh? My library days are coming to an end. Instead of an escape from class and homework my job will become realwork (like homework but for reals.)

Who's with me?

A little more Shakespeare

My sister told me yesterday that the average American has an 800 word vocabulary. How sad is that? The average Harvard Professor has a 10,000 word vocabulary. Shakespeare had a 30,000 word vocabulary, many of which he probably invented. I don't want to present this as complete fact because I don't know where her humanities professor got this information. But the idea remains in tact. This, along with other pieces of information I have gathered about Shakespeare, has only deepened my admiration for him.

My interest in Shakespeare sparked when I saw Macbeth last March. In the play Macbeth starts out as a good man who slowly becomes something terrible one poor choice at a time. One despicable decision is only the beginning of a chain of bad choices until they gradually transform him into something he never meant to become. His first dirty deed was killing the King. A main protagonist in the play, Macduff, suspects Macbeth of regicide and intends to set things right. (This is a very watered-down version). After a series of events Macbeth goes to Macduff's house and murders his family. When Macduff enters the scene and finds his family dead and this is the dialogue that ensues:


Malcolm: Dispute it like a man.
Macduff: I shall do so;
But I must also feel it as a man:

Malcolm, I think in an attempt to offer some sort of comfort to Macduff, encourages him to avenge himself, which he does end up doing. But first, he chooses to feel the pain and let it soak in. The less courageous action would be to suppress those feelings and to let your anger control you (as Macbeth did). He takes the more "manly" route in my perspective. Malcolm says to dispute it LIKE a man and Macduff says he must feel it is AS a man.

From my very limited knowledge of this play (please, corrections or insights are welcome) I find that feeling emotion is a main theme. A person who does not heed their emotions is not stable. But, a person who lets their emotions have their say is he who will overcome and continue on. For example, let's say you want to get to a certain destination and the only way to get there is to cross a bridge that overpasses a VERY deep ravine. That is very scary to you, so instead of taking the bridge you turn left and follow the ridge looking for a alternate solution.  You don't find one. Then, you walk back to the bridge, still too scary. So you try the other side, hoping that you'll find anything easier than the bridge. Again, there is nothing. The only way to get to your destination is by taking that bridge even though it frightens you. That is how feeling emotion is. You may not like it, it could be really difficult to bear or frighten you, but it is the only way to get where you need to go.

We are here to learn from our own experience and if we choose not to feel the pain or sorrow that comes from some experiences we also choose not to feel the immense joy that follows from others.

This brings up a huge issue about what feelings are good to feel and what feelings we should not entertain, but that is a whole different discussion that I would love to have someday if anyone is interested.

I could say so much more about this play, but I should probably read it first. This is one aspect of the play that really moved me and I wrote this with a little bit of help from online resources.

P.S. I may or may not have use a thesaurus once or twice while writing this post.

Here's a question

Can a person be too open? Isn't honesty a virtue? Ok so that's two questions. I have been thinking this morning about getting to know people. Can you be too open about your feelings?

Let me clarify something before I go on. When I ask this I'm not talking about TMI (too much information) moments like when someone gives you intimate details about their bodily functions (which I actually may be guilty of) or things of a similar nature. I do think that you can be too open about that stuff. You have to know (conocer not saber) your audience before you start dishing out that kind of information.

What I want to know is that when you are getting to know someone, can you be too open? Can you be too honest? Can you give too much of yourself away? Isn't it a criteria on everyone's list to find a friend that loves you for who you really are?

My brother insists that people are intrigued by a little bit of mystery. I think he is right. People who don't share a lot create this mysteriousness about them that can be quite captivating. I can tell you all right now, that I do not play the mystery card.

Do you think that being too open is a turn off? Maybe, like most things, it depends on the person and the situation. I don't believe that there is one right way for anything.

I am really interested to know what you all think about this. What say ye?

A good thing

You know what is a good thing? This phrase:

"All's well that ends well."

It is the title of a play written by Shakespeare. Last semester I went to see a friend play Lady Macbeth at BYU-Idaho and realized how interesting Shakespeare is. He understands human emotions and articulates the so well. It was then that I answered the question that people often ask at get-to-know-you activities, "If you could meet any person dead or alive, who would it be?" And I know now that I would promptly say, William Shakespeare. He must be so fascinating. I would love to listen to his perspective on life and the world around us.

Now, back to the phrase. I find that it rings so true in our lives. All IS well that ends well. I can get caught up in all of my mistakes and dwell on them so much that I feel like very little good can come from me. But, I think it's all part of the journey to the "end." The end might be a marathon, learning a language, a big test, learning a song on an instrument, anything. Along the way we make so many errors and we can get to the point where we think that we can't do it because of all the mistakes we made. But, if we keep trying and want it bad enough, we will get to the "end" and finish the race or pass the test. And in the end, "all's well that ends well." And the mistakes were just opportunities to learn something and be better for it.

Now a little tribute to Shakespeare:

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

"Nothing can come of nothing." 

"They do not love that do not show their love."

"Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven."

Accidents? I think not.

I was going to say that lately I've been thinking about where to take my life, but then I realized that is something I think about constantly so really I should use the word daily. On a daily basis I wonder what I should be doing with my life. I wonder if I should be trying harder to meet people or what should I do for my internship. Should I move out of my house? Should I buy a car? Should I try to get a second job? So many things to think about. At church yesterday a profound thought came to me and I believe that it is true. Here it goes:

(don't be jealous of my amazing art work)

So, life is like this line. The flat part represents everyday life. Most days are just normal days with nothing really big going on. The raised parts represent the good times. The extra special awesome times like getting married, having a baby, getting a really good job, and so forth. The lowered parts represents the hard times like disappointments in a relationship or in a a job, deaths, any sort of trial.

You will notice that the majority of this line (our life) is filled with a flat line (or normal days). In these days we get to choose where it will lead us. Our everyday choices and actions will reflect our desires and personal will. We direct our path.


The ups and downs are a little bit different because I believe they are put into our lives by God to bless us. The downs are blessings just like the ups are. We can learn so much from our trials, that is what they are intended for. But I believe that in the moments where the line moves up or down that God has put his hands a little more firmly on the steering wheel to direct our path. I know that God is always a part of what goes on in our lives, even on the normal days. But, the ups and downs are times when God makes manifest his hand in our lives and puts us where we need to be. Most of our days we choose. We can do what we want with our lives, that is a gift that God has given to us. However, sometimes God will take a little more action in our lives to keep us on the right path.

This is something important to me because I feel like right now I am in a "flat" part of my life. There are so many options to choose from and it really is just up to me what I choose to do. I can save up for a car. I can do my internship in another country. I could move out and meet new people. That is the beauty of free agency, we can do whatever we want. And you all know that "I do what I want."

To prove my point. Today I heard two stories that back me up. I have a friend who told me about her friend (sounds sketchy but it's real) who went to the MTC and had a heartattack. As a result he couldn't go on a mission because he was too much of a liability to the church because they didn't know what had caused it. That to me is one of those moments where God took control and put this person where he was supposed to be. He hasn't had any problems since and the doctors could not explain it. My explanation is that God stepped in and directed his path.

Another is my friend's brother went up to Alaska with his buddies to work for the summer. 4 days after he got there he fell off his bike and had to go back home for surgery and he cannot go back because he has to do physical therapy three times a week. God knows where we should be and no matter what choices we make, he will make sure that we are in the right place at the right time if we are doing the things we should be and keeping ourselves worthy of that help.

My point being, do what you want to do. Do what is right and things will fall into place when they should. Sometimes we are so caught up in what to do next that we don't enjoy the moment we are in. Heavenly Father knows what we need and will place events, people, and experiences in our lives when we need them. Control what you can and don't worry about what you can't.

"Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." (D&C 78:18)

I do what I want

This is my new philosophy in life. It's a pretty good one. It has been working out for me so far.

It's not that I submit to the natural woman inside of me or that I have completely surrendered to my natural instincts. It is however, a statement of liberation and contentment.

"I do what I want." Is a declaration to all people announcing that you don't conform to the rules that society has made for you. It pertains to all aspects and realms of life. It takes away the "limitations" one has because of gender, social status, financial situation, occupation, race, whatever.

I'm sure you can find many ways to apply this idea, but let me give you one example. Dating. There are so many unspoken rules in dating. Too many. It is ridiculous. Why should a boy wait a few days before calling a girl after working so hard to get her number? To let her know that he isn't really THAT interested? Maybe he doesn't want to "scare" her? Then why did you get her number in the first place?  It's "the game" that prevents people from being who they are and doing what they think is right.

"The game" consists of people trying really hard to be something that they are not and to do things that they wouldn't normally do to try to impress someone. A common strategy in "the game" is to over-analyze every action and thought until you have thought of so many options and angles that you become discouraged because you don't know which one to take. From there you have lost your natural self and you become a puppet to the nonsensical rules that society has made about dating.

So, this is where "I do what I want" becomes a life-changing mantra. I don't do what society wants me to do. I don't try to follow popular standards that many blindly follow. If I want to do something and it's not going to be harmful to anyone else, I'm going to do it. If you want someone to love you for who you are, then be who you are. Don't look at your friend who goes on a lot of dates and try to become her because you are not her. Don't try to be "that guy" that all the girls want because you aren't him. Don't plan your every move or rehearse your every word. Just be yourself and DO WHAT YOU WANT. Someone out there will love that and you won't have to keep up any appearances.

So, to the world at large I say, do what you want. You won't regret it. If you want to call someone, call them. If you want to talk to someone, talk to them. If you want to apply for the job, apply for it. If you want to die your hair hot pink, do it. You hold the joy stick in your own life.

 A quote by our beloved President Gordon B. Hinckley:
“I would like to suggest to you that you ‘grab life by the horns’ and do not let life grab you by the horns. You take control of your lives. … Do not let life control you. … Take charge. Rise to the divinity that is within you.”

Also, an inspirational video I saw in my marketing class:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXeCAeACmJE